Just a Feel

This night, on a hard night to sleep, let me share about my past experience to keep this chance, Indonesia Canada Youth Exchange Program.

On April at DISPORA PROPINSI KEPULAUAN BANGKA BELITUNG, my second test start after my administration regulations. For the first time, I am just a little girl who followed this selection because of asked from someone. I know that my skill was as standard as another normal person. But my intuition asked me to do this as a chance. I am just a poor people but with my grandmother help I can gone to Pangkal Pinang.

Shorter word, I got this opportunity although this chance was not for me. Exactly, another participant more qualified to get this program. Just because of her age so I step up anymore from her contradicted. I have got third list from highest score after test. Another friend from Tanjung Pandan that I was thought will get this opportunity, at the end she get a program to Australia. I am so glad to become another person who sitting down on this chair. I feel become a queen of Persia.

I also cannot forget about my struggled at the past when I must go to DISPORA Kabupaten Belitung to submit my administration regulations. I am rarely go to Tanjung Pandan. So it made me choose my feeling way as my way to go back. Then, actually I was gone to the longer way than before. The great obstacle of this is I pass the rainy day with my body whole wet because of rainy. I am almost been sick but my body still strong to adaptation to this condition. I am thankful for my god, Allah.

For long time I bothered on this program, hoping that someday I can step out of the floor of Canada, North America. So hard to pass it but I still believe
I can pass it by. I feel that I was not prepared my own self completely because of my necessary on cost. So I am busier on my proposal than my skill. I am very need a little time anymore to fix it all about my ability to dance, playing guitar, my information about my future program, etc.

My preparations were ignored by cost, so now on I need to make acceleration for my preparation. This time is limited. I need to move up. Planning just make me thinking about, never make me want to do it quickly. For this time I declare to me that I must have a standard for each field. For sure, I can to this. In my heart I asking me that I can, I can, I can. No matter what another person say about. No matter what will happened to me I must go move on.

Lately, I am on insomnia, I realize that it is not good for me. I will change because I must change. For my healthy also, because healthiness also regulation to pass me to go because Canada is a cold region. I need extra immunity.

For all of this I like to do share until here. I just can make it this and still need dictionary and word application spelling and grammar checker. I am not a good person in English cause I not find my confident yet. My failure everywhere but there is a checker will help me fix it all. Thanks for read… J