Hiro Birth Story

I walk every morning to stay healthy.Waiting on due date was so mixing feels. Anxious, frightened, worried, excited, become in one package. There are a lot different good ad bad pregnancy story but I keep the positive mind and think everything's gonna be alright.

36 weeks is my last ultrasound appointment and I can't see my baby's face because he already moves toward me. Sadly an umbilical cord has seen on Obgyn's screen. Obgyn said everything's okay and asked me to come back next month.

38 weeks is age of maturity of my fetus and my heart start to pump higher whether labor sign would come soon or later. My husband only have 2 weeks permission from his job. We should decide the perfect time so he could be my side when our love born. 39 weeks he's home but I've no sign for labor. I continuing my workout likewise and start other new things to induce my labor such as harvesting palm coconut tree so i do a lot of squats.

I woke up while due date has reached out but I feel nothing. Riski already a week with me and he only have another a week to go. If I'm not deliver between 7 day or so I will give birth without him. So, I search on internet how to induce labor that told me that massage could induce it then I go for it.

11:30, Friday I finished massage. 18.30 my water broke while riding motorcycle with my husband. We want to go to night market and directly meet our midwife. I try to walk but I think that's not a good idea because the water flew out. I wait my husband to bought me a cup of cane water then we go straight to midwife place. No contraction. She checked me and it's just half opening. So, she send us to hospital.

I got infusion as obgyn said so and wait until 24 hours. If contraction has no progress they'll take action. 10 o'clock of the next day, I checked and it only 1 opening. So, they put induction in my infusion water. After that I can't remember anything what time and how's my progress. The induction pain me more especially in my lower back. I remember I was give up in the middle of it's way but a midwife supporting me well so I could passed it and keep my mind to have a normal labor.

18.30 They checked me again and I was on 8, ready to deliver. A baby inside me want to get out that time. I can't handle that. Thanks God time to push come. This is my first labor experience an I'm suck with pushing. I have no idea how to push so better for first time mother wanna be to learn how to push before the real time coming. I was push with noise and wrong breathing technique. So, the midwife do episiotomy to help my little one because his head at the door.

There he is! Healthy young boy 2,7 kg, 47 cm named Hiro arrived. He's so cute and looks like me. The new path as parent just start right after midwife sew my private area to fix it up. Its such a big calm inside my heart. After 40 weeks I cant take my deep breath, lay and rest awhile. Ready for the next rock!

Compare

There are a lot of differences from developed country and developing country. Every society has their own life. They have their own way to do something stuff but different way. Let say for example, when you live in Canada, people who cook in Canada most of them are man but when you are in Indonesia most of man never cooking.

What we going to do just let the perspective goes by it way. Appreciate anything that people had for their own thing. When you have different perspective so just try to open your mind for what people trying to tell you about. never underestimate something than what you expected. Because sometime we do something worse that than people done.

Be kindness is the important thing because you can have more time to observe what are you doing alright or wrong. It's help a lot when you let the life flow but do not over flowing that it situation more. No matter it, just keep it balance and never do highest or shortest but what we can do only do higher or shorter.

One thing that must we knowing are process is more important that it look like as people.

Daily Activity

Okay, so I'll will write what usually i do everyday. Five O'clock I wake up and then take ablution. When I feel fresh I start my subuh pray. After that I take my book and read them until i feel it's enough for me because in the morning is a really good time for my brain to think and almost all of the thing that I read i can catch them 70%.

I drop out from my school because i didn't have enough money. So I work at goverment office as a cleaning service. Usually I use their computer to learn about anything that I want to know like health, economy, sport, science etcetera. I really love to learn by this way because i didn't need money to having some knowledge for my self.

When I back home, I feel so tired so I take a nap and after that I'm cooking for my self for dinner. I'll probably do something that i love. Like singing, playing guitar, or reading and writing. Finnaly I'm going to bed and sleep.

I feel that god care enough with my life because I still found the way to reach the knowledge that I wanna learn. I'm lucky everysecond of my breath. :D

Reactive Myself

Ought, I defence my self from lazy thing like lying on the bed about 12hours a day. It's just wasting my time as a human on the earth. Nothing much that I can do except let it flow. I create my character based on my mood although I already know that to become an opposite than it I must press my self onto automatic movement. When it created I'll found that it easier than I thought.

So, today i have my spirit on to do something like this, you know. I write what was on my brain and i pour it as a writing thing. I really love when i can read and write because i feel that i still an empty glass and i need more water. Read when I'm empty and write when i feel that i need space to use another water.

I do believe what I've done are what will i get in the future. No mater it bad or good. No matter it small or big. Just flowing the process that i already write before to become my ideology. Although it always wrong but i believe it worth it after.

For anyone who read this don't be afraid about problem that you get today because it already written by you before you come in this earth. Always be cool when you try to resolve it.

Situation on Decide

Playing with a big team in Jakarta make me realized how poor people could become to make their place safe. I knew one person who before an easy going person suddenly become so annoying and arrogant after she got the highest place in team. It’s not a hardwork she become in that place. It’s because a nepotistic racism which they bring into this big city. Then suddenly i found my dear friend who were captained us to the glory become no body.

I’m trying to deal with it and let it by. But it’s impacting my career and improvement. At the end of one tour I realized that it’s time for me to stop. I have lost my importance just because of a wrong leader who has big egos. I don’t want her to lead me!

Then I’ Questioning my self “why I should stay still in this circumstance?” Thats not good for my mental health, I better move on, my life must go on and find another way for me to grow and living my life.

Talk!

I have tried several time and it has limit trying to tell somebody. I’d be honest about me and my group but he see’s nothing. “All is fine,” he said. I made my decision to be out for this fake team. Everything that your think fine actually has more complicated than you think and when the time comes it will be a bomb.

Yes, I have made an excuse, I messed up but I have my life and freedom to be me.